It’s been awhile

I haven’t felt this alone for a long time.

Not since those insecure, uncertain years of early high school.

But this, this is worse. This is uncertainty beyond anything I’ve experienced before.

I am completely lost. I don’t know myself anymore.

Who am I? Who am I.

So much of my life was WE. WE bought a house. WE like this bar and that restaurant. We. We, we, we.

What about ME? What do I have now?

This all sounds so… so much like I feel the victim. I know I’m not. But I am hurt, I am hurting.

And yes, I am alone. I know I have family and friends who would go a long way to be there for me if I would just ask. But I can’t ask. Because this is on me.

Me. Whoever that is.