On what’s memorable, and what’s disposable: Reverb10.09-10.11


In an attempt to travel further down the path of self-discovery, I’ve decided to participate in Reverb 10, which is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.


December 9: Party

What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Here’s a confession: I have a horrible memory. Like, really bad. Like, I have a hard time remembering what I did last weekend, even if I happened to have actually done something fun and exciting.

I might remember a conversation I had, but I definitely won’t remember if it was 10 minutes ago, yesterday or last month.

Basically, I can’t remember shit.

I know I had some good times this year – community festivals, your typical Saturday night at the tavern in town, dancing my ass off with two close girl friends and NO BOYFRIENDS IN SIGHT – but, hell, I don’t know what “social gathering rocked my socks off” this year. All of them, because any time I get out of the house and get to interact with adults in a non-work setting is a fucking blast.

I think this is a sign I need to take more pictures.

December 10: Wisdom

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Easy. The wisest – albeit the hardest, most difficult damn thing I’ve ever done – was take a moment, take a step back and live for me.

I’ll let you know how that works out.

Runner-up: Getting Colt. He can be such a little bastard, but that little bastard has become MY little bastard, and I love him.

December 11: 11 Things

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

  1. Drama
    • Eliminate by: Making smart choices, ignoring stupid people.
  2. Debt
    • Eliminate by: STOP SHOPPING SO DAMN MUCH and pay the bills for christ’s sake, woman!
  3. Gossip
    • Eliminate by: See #1 – ignore stupid people.
  4. Negativity
    • Eliminate by: This one’s tough. The negativity I mean here is specific, from specific sources. To eliminate this from my life, I would have to either drastically change who certain people are at their core (highly unlikely, if not impossible) or actually eliminate them from my life. And to do that would severely impact relationships I have with other people. So, yeah, this one’s tough.
  5. Self-doubt
    • Eliminate by: I need to take a few minutes each day to remind myself that, though I’m not perfect and though I do *gasp* make mistakes from time to time, I’m also valuable and loved. And not just by my family (meaning, not just by people who *have* to love me) but by people who actively choose to love me and make me a part of their lives.
  6. Passivity
    • Eliminate by: I need to be active, in a not-actually-physically-active way, but in a living actively, with intention. I let so many good moments pass me by in 2010 simply because I was lazy, or didn’t feel up to facing the moment.
  7. Clutter
    • Eliminate by: Simplify, simplify, simplify. In every sense of the word.
  8. Self-importance
    • Eliminate by: I know there are a lot of things I’m good at. I know there are a lot of things I do really, really well. But I need to remember that not everything has to be perfect, some things just need to be done, and it really is okay to let somebody else take the reins.
  9. 24/7 connectivity
    • Eliminate by: Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet. I mean, I LOVE love it. But it’s kind of a problem when I’m checking my phone when I wake up in the middle of the night, and I check it before I get in the shower in the morning, right before I fall asleep at night. It’s a problem when I all but break out in hives if I don’t have data coverage or wi-fi. I just need to take some time every now and then to live in the real world, in the present, and not online.
  10. Unhealthy food/drink
    • Eliminate by: Eating healthier, duh. But seriously, I drink a lot of soda and not a lot of water. I eat a lot of chips and not a lot of fruit and vegetables. This has got to change. I’m not getting any younger, my metabolism isn’t getting any faster and I’m not going to magically live to be 100 treating my body the way I do.
  11. Stress
    • Eliminate by: I don’t care how I do it, I just have to fucking do it, because I’m not healthy in this respect. Period.

Photos: harold.lloyd