Happiness and power and power and happiness

Pink Sherbet Photography

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about power and control. Who has the power over my life? Who controls my happiness?

The obvious answer here, of course, is resoundingly ME. (Or, you know, YOU, for your life and your happiness.)

Which is why I get so damn frustrated when outside sources make me feel powerless, when other people’s shit (or my own shit, even… as in the my house is dirty and my car isn’t as nice as her car shit) make me unhappy.

I subscribe to the daily Notes from the Universe, and more often than note the message delivered to my inbox resonates with me at least on some level. But this gem really hit home for me.

I need to work on numbers 5, 9 and 10.

Attaching to unimportant details and outcomes

I’m ashamed to admit how often my day is ruined because of some material matter. Usually it’s because the house is dirty, but there are also money concerns and jealousy over others’ personal possessions. All of which, in the end, is completely inconsequential. So why do I place so much importance on things that don’t really matter?

Waiting for (my) ducks to line up before acting

A lot of people do this before deciding to have kids (which, obviously, isn’t the case for me). But thoughts like, “When X happens, I can finally do Y…” are not uncommon in my life. If Y really depends on X, then hurry up and get X done already! There’s nothing stopping me, really, except myself.

I don’t even like ducks.

Choosing to be unhappy

I really do think happiness – at least in the day-to-day sense – is a choice. Each day when I get home from work, I choose to frustrated at the dust covering the coffee table instead of expressing my excitement to see my son. I choose to get mad that I can’t afford to go to Hawaii instead of fully enjoying a day at the lake.

I don’t know why I choose all these negative feelings instead of happiness. It’s stupid! Why would I choose anger or joy? Smiles > frowns. C’mon, Kaci, get your shit together.

Understanding the truth

Life is just one big, never-ending lesson… isn’t it?

How do you give your power away?

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