Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride… or something corny and cliche like that.

I feel like I have so much to complain about these days, which is an interesting feeling when I simultaneously feel like I have so much to be thankful for. And by interesting I mean conflicting and confusing. Also, stupid.

I’m not going to get into the dirty details here (although the venting session in itself would probably help me feel better, albeit temporarily), but suffice it to say… I’m tired. Tired.

I feel stuck. I feel down. I feel like nothing I do is ever enough. I feel like I’m drowning. And I’m tired of these feelings.

I know I have a million people I can talk to, but mostly I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk on the phone. I don’t want to compose long messages (emails, Facebook messages, whatever). I don’t have the energy for it.

I prefer in-person interaction. I yearn for it, actually. I’ve found that my worst days are those with the least amount of interaction with other people. My best days are those I spend the least amount of time at home.

This post has officially lost its focus. Or maybe it never had focus to begin with. Maybe that’s my problem, too. Maybe I don’t have focus. Maybe I’m spread too thin. Or maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Yeah, probably that last part.

{Photo credit}


  1. Vanessa Saturday, August 25, 2012 12:19 am

    That is *just about* me. Only I hardly ever get out of the house. Ever. (Unless it’s for groceries.) And I think it might be cuz I’m actually nuts and afraid of people. I feel so inferior, insecure… out of place and awkward. All I have to talk about it doing dishes, bills, poop and… poop. Super interesting. Anyway… I feel like this, too. Made me really wish I could just drive on over for warm drink and a catch up session. (Kinda like that one time we stayed at Kristyn/Randy’s and stayed up all night talking.) Love.

  2. terra Sunday, August 26, 2012 1:41 pm

    Hugs, lady. I know what you mean. It takes a lot of effort to write it all down to someone or reach out and make a phone call. I need the in person venting as well.

  3. Cat Sunday, August 26, 2012 4:05 pm

    i absolutely understand the desire for facetime and the lack of energy for writing and calling.

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