Late-night rant sent from my phone. Please (mostly) disregard.

My mind is racing, jumping from one thing to another. Worry, stress, frustration. I don’t like this constant weight on my chest. Sometimes all I want is a little more help, a little more support… and sometimes all I get is a little more guilt, a little more frustration.

I’m accustomed to feeling alone in this world; maybe this is the self-fulfilling prophecy at its finest.

E is, more often than not, the only thing that keeps me going. He is my reason. He makes my heart soar, especially when he does things like this:

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Unfortunately, E is also the source of a lot off my unrest. He doesn’t like me much. I suppose that’s not the most accurate description, but when he literally pushes me away and criiiiies, cries cries when I try to hold him while his dad is in the room… well, it feels like he doesn’t like me. Which is a pretty crappy feeling. I know it’s the product of my husband staying hone with him while I work, and it would be three opposite if I stayed home while P worked, but that isn’t any consolation, really.

I need a release, an escape, from the stress, the worry. The guilt. The hurt.

2 thoughts on “Late-night rant sent from my phone. Please (mostly) disregard.

  1. Hugs, lady friend. You’re in my thoughts always and as always, I’m so glad you share these thoughts and feelings with us. I hope it helps, even if just a miniscule amount, to send them out into the internets.

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