Guest post from Katherine: Honesty is best.


Hello! My name is Katherine and I’m in love with Kaci. Wait, that’s not why I’m here. I challenged myself to write a guest post every day in November. I haven’t actually kept up with that as well as I want to, but remember that thing that’s not why I’m here? Yeah, I don’t want to let Kaci down, so I’m going to use the post on her blog to get me back into this damn thing! If you’d like to see what I have been up to, I hope to have an updated list over at purekatherine.com soon!

One of my favorite things about Kaci is her openness. Especially when it comes to stuff with E and her postpartum. I’ve been around the internet for a good little while now and in my time I have come across quite a few mom bloggers. (As in bloggers who are moms, I don’t really follow mom-bloggers.) I mean, several of my blogger friends have actually become moms since I’ve gotten to know them.

While many of these women are open about both the ups and downs that they experience as mothers, I think that Kaci has been exceptionally great with this.

It’s important for mothers to be honest about their lives as mothers. Not only for the benefit of those who are not yet moms, but for those who currently are and are struggling. By simply sharing the negative experiences, individual mothers can show other moms that none of them are failing. Motherhood isn’t the pristine image that so many have lead us to believe.

Sure, many of us know this by having watched our mothers as we grew up, but that doesn’t change that it’s really easy to feel like there are so many moms out there right now who have it all together. Whether they are staying at home with their children and creating the perfect home or they are working and still coming home to wonderful children, every mother also has horror stories. If they don’t share those stories, it’s very easy to see their mom experiences as the perfect live that June Cleaver lived, with those supposedly perfect children and those lovely pearls that she even wore while doing housework.

Stories like Kaci’s give a more accurate idea of what to expect. They let me know that it’s not going to be perfect all the time and that’s ok. They also scare the shit out of me, I mean, thinking that it’s not all instinct and easy is not actually something that I want to think about motherhood. But it opens me up to a realistic picture of what I can expect, should I be lucky enough to experience it myself. I’ve had what I’ve thought were doubts about my desire to be a mother, in part because of some stories I’ve heard, but I’ve also opened up to those moms (well, to Kaci) and mentioned these doubts and she was quick to point out that when I go though it, I will have people like her there totally ready to back me up. As long as I’m honest about what I’m experiencing.

Another side of it is that I want to be able to help my friends when they are going through. I need the help to be able to see some of them though because not having a child myself, it’s just all so foreign to me. Kaci is again a great example of this. Because she has shared with me some things that she has had trouble with, I was able to recognize that my mom went through some of the same things when I was E’s age.

I may not have stories of my own, but I do have evidence that my mom and I both got through those times, just like I know that Kaci and E will. Had Kaci not been honest in sharing some of her frustrations, I would have never known how to help her, nor would she have known that there’s someone right in front of her who is evidence that she will get through it.

All of my doubts, my outsider/insider knowledge to help a friend and other moms knowing that they are doing just fine; none of this happens without moms being honest in their blogs. So if you are a mom who blogs, please be honest, you’ll get more support than you know.

And thank you Kaci, for staying you and staying open. I don’t think I can explain how helpful it’s been.