It's a passion.

it’s funny how something so worthwhile NOT worthwhile can lead to something into which you put so much pride.

“her smile is an enigma, just like your heart”
she looks up at you from the ground she’s fallen to so many times before. her eyes are begging for more, her arms are reaching for more because you’re just never enough and yet you’re always too much for her to handle. an ironic twist of fate or something else just as inexplicable brought you two together but now neither of you knows why. against your will or maybe your knowledge you kick her while she’s already down and she swears you’ll never do it again. there’s something about the misery you inflict upon her that makes her crawl back for more every time.

she knows it isn’t right and deep down, you do too. as much as you care for cleanliness you can’t stop digging deeper into the dirt. the muddiness is the best and worst thing in your life right now. she explores the world around her and much to her dismay, the best and worst thing about everybody else is that they’re not you. you both know it’ll never work but for some reason you both want to try anyway. you want it enough to almost actually do it, but in this world so full of lies and hurt, sometimes almost just isn’t enough; you’re just not sure if this time is one of those times.

you search for the answer through the wreckage of what could have been, or is it what should have been? the beauty of it all is that she knows the answer, she has all along, but she knows telling you will only lead to solitude. and she, like misery, loves company.

kjb. 2007.

even priceless treasures can be faked.
you speak in riddle that you almost hope he understands. your fear is that you’re afraid of the very thing you’re chasing; your worry is that you’ll never have the chance to figure it out. the only way to know something truly frightens you is to experience it, after all.

i scratch your back and you scratch mine; he’ll run off before he’ll hold up his end of the bargain. he doesn’t have to go anywhere but he’s gone, honey, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be.

you’re a sweet girl and you deserve good things, but don’t expect to find gold and diamonds in yesterday’s trash.

kjb. 2007.

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