Untitled, as is often the case

Time is fickle. Incomprehensible. Years fly by while the days drag on but it feels like this moment will never, ever end.

So many things left unsaid, undone. There was so much left for us… no, for YOU, to conquer. I said this was your year, I just had no idea how incredibly right/wrong I was.

This void. This hole. This wound. I feel it will never heal but what’s worse is I fear it will. Don’t leave me, don’t leave us. Not again, not for good. Stay there, stay right fucking there in our hearts forever. Don’t you dare let us forget. Haunt our dreams, tickle our memories. I won’t dare forget. I’ll grasp at memories of you like they’re my lifeline.

They are, aren’t they? What else do I have of you now?

Gone… but not really. I can still feel you here, in this place, even though you are definitely not here. Why else would all these people be? All these relics of your time spent here on earth, gathered for display. Unreal. One day I may be sorry for the minimal role I played in it all, but for now I know I did as much as I could handle without crumbling to the ground or into it.

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