I don’t believe in soul mates.
I don’t believe there is one person out there for each of us.
I believe love – as in a romantic, working, day-to-day relationship with another person – is a choice. It’s a daily decision to work at the relationship, to stay and be. in. the relationship. To be an active participant in the relationship.
(That’s not to say you get to choose who you love. That, obviously, is not the case.)
But, to me, this belief is more than a disbelief in fate and destiny. Yes, it’s true I don’t believe the future is written in stone – I think our futures are always changing and evolving based upon our day-to-day actions. (We won’t even go into the religious aspect of all that.) But my stance on love and what makes love work is based on more than my stance on destiny.
Love is hard. Relationships are hard.
They require work. Every day. A lot of it.
Sometimes, I don’t think I’m strong enough. Sometimes I don’t think I have the will to power through it, to deal with all the downs that inevitably come with all the ups. Because, though there are ups… though there are speechless, amazing, heart-exploding ups… there are downs. And though those downs are rare, few and far between, the truth is they are. The downs exist. And when they happen, they are gut-wrenching. They make me question my soul, my heart. And sometimes, no, I don’t think I’m strong enough.
But the truth is that I am strong enough. The truth is I’ve been strong enough and I will continue to be strong enough.
I’m strong enough because I choose to be. I choose to be in this relationship and so I am. Every day, I am in this relationship 100 percent. I give it my all – my heart, my mind, my everything.
Because it’s worth it.
There’s meaning in there somewhere, I guarantee it.