Just another Monday

I’m technically on two weeks of break off work right now. Of course, that didn’t stop me from being in the office for 4+ hours today, and I’ll be there tomorrow… and Wednesday as well! Wee!

Anyway.

A little while ago, Brittney hosted a giveaway on her blog, La Midge. A couple weeks ago, she announced that, ahem, *I* was the winner! Gasp! So, Brittney and I chatted a bit here and there (she’s, um, adorable, by the way) and then today, I received my gifts, just in time to really cherish them for Christmas.

Granted, I could have waited until actual Christmas to open them, but… I knew there were cookies! And so I just couldn’t.

Brittney was sweet enough to actually make me some cookies (!!)…

And also sent this beautiful necklace from her Etsy shop, The Two Litle Moos. UM SO CUTE! I can’t wait to wear this! I think it will look great with my new-ish long-sleeve black sweater from American Eagle.

Oh. And yeah. Go right ahead and ignore the AWFUL golden/yellow ’70s drapes behind the cookies. Good lord, this house.

Also, did you see that adorable tin the cookies came in? And all the adorable packaging? SO MUCH ADORABLE HERE! (Hi, Brittney. No, I promise I’m not creepy OR a stalker. I swear. Okay, maybe a little creepy but definitely NOT a stalker.)

5 minutes & forever: Reverb10.15-10.17

In an attempt to travel further down the path of self-discovery, I’ve decided to participate in Reverb 10, which is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.

December 15: 5 minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

I just want to remember the highlights: New job. New house. Homeowner! Amazing coworkers. Awesome community. New friends. Colt! Rob Zombie! Shinedown! Sevendust! Puddle of Mudd!

There were weddings and there were babies, neither of which were mine. There were parties and hangovers, both of which I had too much to do with.

And there was hurt and pain and confusion and anger, all of which I’d really like to be done with.

I don’t need 5 minutes. I’m done with this question.

December 16: Friendship

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I’ve learned a lot about friendship this year. You’d think that at 24 years old, a girl would know friendship isn’t easy and that it takes a lot of work, but I think this year was the year that proved that to me.

I’ve learned the best of friends can show up in places you least expect. And maybe that’s for the best.

I’ve learned sometimes the biggest hypocrites are the ones who talk the most shit. I’ve learned that if people gossip TO you, they’ll also gossip ABOUT you. And don’t put it past the girl who is always honest and straight forward to stab you in the back.

December 17: Lesson learned

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

The best thing I learned about myself this year? Simple. I’m still me. I have my own heart and mind and body and soul, and it’s okay to make decisions and choices based on what my heart and mind and body and soul want and need. In fact, it’s BEST if I make decisions and choices based on what *I* want and need.

I’ve said, in jest, for a long time: “I do what I want.” And though I did (do?) do what I want to a certain extent… for the most part, when it really comes down to it, I didn’t/don’t. I do what’s needed, what’s expected. What I should do, what people think I should do, what I think people think I should do.

And here’s something for you: IT’S FUCKING EXHAUSTING. I’m so tired of living for other people. If nothing else, these past few months have taught me that, sure, everybody and their dog, especially in a small town, is going to have an opinion – a lot of the time, a very STRONG opinion – about what I should or shouldn’t do, what I should or shouldn’t wear, who I should or shouldn’t hang out with or spend time with, etc. etc. etc. In the end, though, they don’t have to live with that decision. *I* do. So fuck them.

Live your life.

Photos: lil miss sunshine09 | tibchris

Here, now and in the future: Reverb10.12-10.14

In an attempt to travel further down the path of self-discovery, I’ve decided to participate in Reverb 10, which is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.


December 12: Body integration

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I don’t do yoga. I don’t exercise, I don’t work out. Basically, I’m not a physically active person… like at all.

But there was a moment. I had a moment this summer – and I don’t remember the day, time or hell, even the month, but there was a moment – in which I felt whole. We, a bunch of us, friends, family, just we were at the lake. Kids were yelling, people were jumping off the dock, animals were running amok. It was, basically, just another day at the lake.

In that moment, though, somewhere between the truck and the water, I paused for a second, a split second. I remember feeling the sun beating down on me, feeling it on every inch of my exposed skin. I could feel the heat mixed with the slight breeze of warm summer air. My thoughts were my feelings. That was the first time in a long time the two were one. And that was the last time in a long time the two were one.

December 13: Action

When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

This is something I’ve really been struggling with lately. What’s your next step?

Sometimes, it’s that easy. What’s your next step? Okay, now do it. What’s your next step? See it through.

But sometimes… it’s not that easy. Some things just aren’t black and white. Sometimes, it’s not as easy as “yes” or “no,” and sometimes that next step just isn’t crystal clear. (Like now.)


December 14: Appreciate

What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

Family. FAMILY. My mom. My amazing brother and sister, and their amazing spouses. My nieces. HOLY CRAP my nieces.

Even extended family… aunts and uncles, cousins. Reconnecting.

Family.

I’ve been trying to be better at it, but it’s hard when you’re just not really a phone person. So I try in other ways – Facebook, email, text messages. It’s hard, too, when you’re forgetful like I am and happen to take after your mom, who is a bit of a homebody. But I try, because really, you can’t get much better than my family.

Photos: lanier67 | linda yvonne

On what’s memorable, and what’s disposable: Reverb10.09-10.11

In an attempt to travel further down the path of self-discovery, I’ve decided to participate in Reverb 10, which is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.


December 9: Party

What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Here’s a confession: I have a horrible memory. Like, really bad. Like, I have a hard time remembering what I did last weekend, even if I happened to have actually done something fun and exciting.

I might remember a conversation I had, but I definitely won’t remember if it was 10 minutes ago, yesterday or last month.

Basically, I can’t remember shit.

I know I had some good times this year – community festivals, your typical Saturday night at the tavern in town, dancing my ass off with two close girl friends and NO BOYFRIENDS IN SIGHT – but, hell, I don’t know what “social gathering rocked my socks off” this year. All of them, because any time I get out of the house and get to interact with adults in a non-work setting is a fucking blast.

I think this is a sign I need to take more pictures.

December 10: Wisdom

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Easy. The wisest – albeit the hardest, most difficult damn thing I’ve ever done – was take a moment, take a step back and live for me.

I’ll let you know how that works out.

Runner-up: Getting Colt. He can be such a little bastard, but that little bastard has become MY little bastard, and I love him.

December 11: 11 Things

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

  1. Drama
    • Eliminate by: Making smart choices, ignoring stupid people.
  2. Debt
    • Eliminate by: STOP SHOPPING SO DAMN MUCH and pay the bills for christ’s sake, woman!
  3. Gossip
    • Eliminate by: See #1 – ignore stupid people.
  4. Negativity
    • Eliminate by: This one’s tough. The negativity I mean here is specific, from specific sources. To eliminate this from my life, I would have to either drastically change who certain people are at their core (highly unlikely, if not impossible) or actually eliminate them from my life. And to do that would severely impact relationships I have with other people. So, yeah, this one’s tough.
  5. Self-doubt
    • Eliminate by: I need to take a few minutes each day to remind myself that, though I’m not perfect and though I do *gasp* make mistakes from time to time, I’m also valuable and loved. And not just by my family (meaning, not just by people who *have* to love me) but by people who actively choose to love me and make me a part of their lives.
  6. Passivity
    • Eliminate by: I need to be active, in a not-actually-physically-active way, but in a living actively, with intention. I let so many good moments pass me by in 2010 simply because I was lazy, or didn’t feel up to facing the moment.
  7. Clutter
    • Eliminate by: Simplify, simplify, simplify. In every sense of the word.
  8. Self-importance
    • Eliminate by: I know there are a lot of things I’m good at. I know there are a lot of things I do really, really well. But I need to remember that not everything has to be perfect, some things just need to be done, and it really is okay to let somebody else take the reins.
  9. 24/7 connectivity
    • Eliminate by: Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet. I mean, I LOVE love it. But it’s kind of a problem when I’m checking my phone when I wake up in the middle of the night, and I check it before I get in the shower in the morning, right before I fall asleep at night. It’s a problem when I all but break out in hives if I don’t have data coverage or wi-fi. I just need to take some time every now and then to live in the real world, in the present, and not online.
  10. Unhealthy food/drink
    • Eliminate by: Eating healthier, duh. But seriously, I drink a lot of soda and not a lot of water. I eat a lot of chips and not a lot of fruit and vegetables. This has got to change. I’m not getting any younger, my metabolism isn’t getting any faster and I’m not going to magically live to be 100 treating my body the way I do.
  11. Stress
    • Eliminate by: I don’t care how I do it, I just have to fucking do it, because I’m not healthy in this respect. Period.

Photos: harold.lloyd