I recently realized that although I’ve been doing a lot lately, not many people know about it! That’s me being a bad blogger. Where the updates at, yo?
Lately, I’ve been thinking wedding, wedding, wedding. I can’t believe how quickly July has come (um, hello end-of-June, where the fuck did you come from?!) and The Big Day is in two and a half weeks. (Oh. Shit.) I still need flowers (shut up). Also, what the hell are the groomsmen going to wear? Also also, how do you convince the groom-to-be that he should, I don’t know, ask his groomsmen to be his groomsmen? Also, shit.
Lately, though, I’ve also been getting excited about the wedding. I found my dress (no pictures, sorry – it’ll just have to be a surprise!) and lots of cute decorations for the reception, and I have a pretty good plan to do something to honor my dad during the ceremony and reception. I think a lot of my excitement is because of the cheesecake. No wedding cake for us. Just cheesecake.
Lately, I’ve been doing my best to enjoy my last child-free summer. I’m sure next year I won’t have many opportunities to kick my feet up and sit on our front porch, laptop in… lap, and enjoy the sunshine, breeze and superannoying dogs. I know next summer will be full of a million other simple pleasures, so I’m trying to soak up these simple pleasures. While I can.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about boy vs. girl. Do I want to buy camo or pink (camo)? Do I want to play dress up or cops and robbers? (Not that girls can’t wear regular camo or play cops and robbers, but you get my point.) As our 20-week ultrasound draws nearer (July 13!), I find my mind wandering to boy vs. girl quite often. Will we have a son, or will we have a daughter? And, one step further… If we have a son, what kind of man will he be? Or if we have a daughter, what kind of woman will she be?
Lately, I’ve been wondering what kind of mother I’ll be. I think I ask P about once a week, “Do you think I’ll be a good mom?” He always says that yes, of course, he knows I’ll be a good mom. But when I ask, I secretly mean so much more than that. I mean, what kind of mom do you think I’ll be? Strict, but caring? Care-free, but thoughtful? I’m a firm believer that parents never really have it figured out, and that I’ll never know what kind of mom I actually am, because I’ll forever be learning and evolving not only as a mother but as a person… but I can’t help but wonder.