1. You’re packing for a week-long vacation – do you pack ahead of time or wait until the last possible minute to pack?

I tend to wait until the last minute, but not intentionally. Usually it’s just because time moves faster than I do.

2. Are you a light or heavy packer?

Definitely a heavy packer, but I’ve been getting better in recent years.

3. What are your favorite road trip snacks?

I’m all about the junk food when I’m on a road trip – cinnamon bears and Mountain Dew come to mind at the moment.

4. Do you take any reading material along?

If it’s a road trip… no. I get really car sick. But if I’m flying somewhere, then definitely.

5. Do you prefer to drive or fly to your vacation destination?

I love flying, but probably only because I hardly ever get to do it. Most of my “vacations” are within driving distance.

6. What is your favorite time of the year to take your vacation?

Summer. I hate traveling much in the winter.

7. Where is your favorite place to vacation?

Um, Vegas. (Duh.)

8. You are vacationing in the mountains – what is your favorite thing to do while there?

Anything involving a campfire.

9. You are at the beach for your vacation – do you like to take is easy on the beach or play all day in the water?

Take it easy. I haven’t been to the beach in WAY too long… longer than I even want to admit.

10. While you’re on vacation, do you prefer to each out every night or cook some of your own meals?

RESTAURANTS. Give me all of the restaurants.

Questions from Lindsey at The Rowland FamilyTen on Tuesday hosted by Chelsea. Photo by Ian Carroll.

Etc.

I’ve never been able to “forgive and forget.” Quite the contrary, actually – it’s much more my style to “move on and try to act like nothing happened (but then blow up at something small because I’m actually really holding a grudge, you just don’t know it).”

Trust me on this one, y’all: That method never works out well. The only thing it leads to is a lot of pent up anger, aggression and resentment. And that is never good for any type of relationship, be it with a family member, friend, or significant other.

It’s ugly, and in the midst of (what others probably perceive as) a tantrum, it makes me an ugly person. I never, ever, EVER feel good about myself after one of my blow-ups. And, in my shame, I usually end up apologetic (because “I overreacted”) and then the core problem never gets solved.

And then the whole cycle starts over again.

There are times when I feel helpless. Like those times when a problem I’ve had time and time again with another person keeps resurfacing, and I keep trying to approach it from a different angle, in hopes that my new approach will lead to a different outcome… but to no avail. And then I feel defeated, because after I inevitably explode, I am so full of shame that I APOLOGIZE FOR VOICING MY OPINION. (And then, I’m ashamed about THAT.) At those times, at my lowest, I feel like I have no fight left in me. So I give up.

Some arguments you just have to let go of, though. I’ve learned to pick my battles – forget about the toothpicks left on the coffee table; focus on getting some help budgeting and saving money. I’ve learned to focus on the big picture, but making it relevant in our day-to-day lives. We can’t spend X amount of money downtown every day, because that’s added up to Y amount over the past month and Y amount could have bought us Item Z. (I do not miss algebra, by the way.)

But I digress. Like I was saying, I’ve learned to pick my battles. Choose the ones I can win, or the ones that matter; let go of the trivial, losing ones.

The problem with this way of thinking is that, often, my idea of what’s trivial and what’s important don’t exactly line up with what others think is trivial or important. So the things I want to sit down and hash out and fix? Don’t get fixed because while I’m sitting on my side of the fence, choosing my battles… so are they.

How do you pick YOUR battles?

And, once the war is over, how do you let go of the ugliness, the leftover anger and resentment, and actually move the fuck on?

Photo by Cameron Kisel

Writing my heart out