I’ve never been one to back down from a fight. I don’t like to admit defeat. I’m not unaccustomed to experiencing revelations.

I can’t do it all, and I certainly can’t do it all alone.

This is the first time I’ve been able to say that comfortably. That’s not to say it doesn’t make me uncomfortable to say it, but at least I don’t feel wrong about it. This is also the first time I’ve said that without feeling like I should be able to do it all.

I shouldn’t. Despite all my badassery, I’m not Superwoman. I can’t work a full-time job AND keep the house clean (with four dogs, that’s a full-time job on its own) AND have dinner ready when my husband gets home from work AND spend quality time with my son each day. There aren’t enough hours.

I can’t do it all. So I won’t try to anymore.

Focus on the important. Forget the rest.

——

What goes around comes around, honey. You won’t get too far in life talking shit, and even though you think you can, you can’t do it all on your own, either. Just remember that next time you need some help.

——

Somewhere, among the diaper boxes full of unwanted and outgrown clothing… under last week’s laundry waiting to be put away, beneath the dust and clutter, there’s a life. There are memories of date nights and late nights, high heels and low-cut tops. Sweet kisses, deep kisses, I-want-more kisses.

Somewhere, between the sighs of exasperation and desperation, through the moans and groans… there is good.

There are smiles with the frowns, laughter despite tears.

Somewhere.

Photo: Brandon Grasley

Etc. Writing my heart out

E Wordless Wednesday

When I was in high school, I remember thinking how awful growing up sounded because, um, no more spring break? No summer vacation? HOW WOULD I EVER SURVIVE?!

Then I went to college and had to, horror of all horrors, take summer classes so I could graduate on time. That was my first summer vacationless summer. (But, I still had my spring break, so it was all good.)

THEN I GRADUATED from college and went to work at the newspaper and lost all forms of breaks and vacations. Depending on what days holidays fell, I even had to work on holidays. It, in a nutshell, sucked.

Then I started my current job… and All Of The Vacations came back! Four days for Thanksgiving! Two weeks for Christmas! Spring break! Three-day weekends all summer! Yes, yes, yessssss!

And then.

And then.

I started realizing how different my spring breaks are now compared to then.

Then: Spring break to visit my bff in LA!

Now: Monday of spring break spent baking cinnamon rolls!

Then: Party party party party SPRINGBREAKPARTYOMGWOOOOO!!!!!!

Now: Tired at 6:30 pm. In bed by 8:00 pm.

Then: What day is it?

Now: What day is it?

Well I guess one thing hasn’t changed.

Which all leads me to ask, when the hell did I grow up? I mean, let’s be honest. I have a spreadsheet to track our bills. Also, they are “our” bills, not “my” bills. About a month ago, I realized I was too busy/tired/overwhelmed to even clean the house, so I hired a (high school student) house cleaner. Side note: It’s wonderful.

Honestly, I just completely lost my whole point. Babies will do that to a girl.

So, to sum it up? I love spring break, and holy shit I’m an adult.

Or something.

CUTE PICTURE OF BABY E!

E Writing my heart out