I’ve been having a rough time lately. I’ve found a bit of solace in fervently punching in whatever comes to mind onto my phone, glancing over my shoulder in fear my husband will read what’s on the screen. And yet, I have this urge to share,  because I’ve made it my own personal mission to share the ugly side of parenthood, the ugly side of being a new mother. This is what’s come up in recent nights…

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As I type this, my son is falling asleep next to me. His arm is draped to his side, resting on me for comfort.

It’s beautiful.

And yet… I wish today never happened. Today was anything but beautiful. Today was the opposite of beautiful. Today was ugly. Today was one of my bad days.

I’m just so ready to be done with the bad days, to be done with the terrible, awful, no good, very bad thoughts I’m ashamed to admit I have. (Thoughts like, “I can’t wait to leave town sans husband and child for three days. Think of all the sleep I’ll be able to get!”)

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Sometimes I think I’m not cut out to be a mother. Not a good one, anyway. I’m fairly certain that’s not the postpartum talking, either… And I’m pretty good at recognizing postpartum in myself these days.

I don’t have patience. I’ve heard countless people say countless times that “it’s different with your own kids” but in the situations I’m referring to, it’s not any different. I have no patience. I get mad at my son for crying when there’s nothing wrong. I get frustrated when he fights sleep, because IF HE’S SO TIRED WHY DOESN’T HE JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY. I, a grown ass woman, get mad at my son, a 7-month-old.

It’s stupid.

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I deleted a line at the end of that last one. It’s too terrible to share, too terrible to re-read. I can’t – won’t – go there.

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I’ve realized lately that I share a lot of the ugly stuff on here… and not so much of the beautiful side of parenthood, the beautiful side of being a new mama. Which is sad, really, because there is beauty and wonder and awe. It’s truly amazing, in those moments when I can see past the crap.

There are moments of this…

“Mom? Mom?! MOMMY?!?”

And this…

Pirate party.

And this.

Peas.

And, though I know postpartum is real and a real bitch, there are times when I also know I just need to get the fuck over it and enjoy my son, because damn it, he’s only going to be seven months old for so long.

Speaking of seven months… here E is at six months:

“Heyyyyyyyyyyy.”

And that, my friends, is what I need to focus on. Because I barely remember him at 6-7 months. Tomorrow he is seven months old, and I refuse to let his eighth month slip by.

E Shit They Don't Tell You

Planning a bachelorette party for a friend who is about to get married can be a very difficult task. This isn’t necessarily because planning a party is so hard, or because it is particularly stressful, but more because you know how special this time is for your friend, and you want to make sure that the party is not only fun, but memorable and special. Different women choose to celebrate their bachelorette parties in many different ways, but the one common factor is that this is a symbolic time to have a great night with friends before marriage. So how can you make it special as the one in charge of planning it?

I recommend this shirt. No, really. I got one (and a matching pint glass) from my two best friends, before my wedding.

Typically, there are two things that stand out most about a bachelorette party: where it is, and what you and your friends do specifically for the bride-to-be. Naturally, these are very large factors that cover a broad range of possibilities, but if you can make sure that the venue is appropriate, fun and memorable, and that you and your friends provide some special gift or entertainment for the bride-to-be, you can be virtually assured that you will have planned a successful bachelorette party.

So, first, you have to select a venue that will be perfect for the occasion. The most important thing to consider here is to forget about traditions, movies you’ve seen, or books you’ve read. In these scenarios, bachelorette parties tend to all look the same: a bunch of women crowded around a lounge section of a club or bar, laughing and showering the bride-to-be with gifts while a male stripper wanders around. Ignore this. Sure, it might be similar to what you end up with ultimately, but instead of doing something that seems “classic,” try to figure out a venue and style of party that appeals specifically to the bride-to-be. In some scenarios that may even mean a quiet gathering at home! Just keep in mind that this decision should be personal, not popular.

Next, you will want to figure out something particular or special to do for your friend in the way of gifts or party themes. Venue is important, but it is the gift giving and the event itself that will be memorable and fun in the moment. Many women enjoy having fun with the gifts by picking up sex toys from Adam and Eve, or getting the bride-to-be something else “scandalous” to have a bit of fun with the concept of leaving freedom and heading to marriage. Others prefer something a bit tamer, such as getting household accessories for your friend to use in her new married life. Whatever the case – whether your gifts and theme are funny, sexy, or practical – they should be things that the bride-to-be will appreciate and cherish for whatever value they are meant to have.


This post was brought to you by Adam and Eve. In light of the fact that a good friend of mine is in the process of planning a wedding, I thought this post was fitting – I may very well need to plan a bachelorette party soon!

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