I constantly compare my life to the lives of others. They’re engaged; we’re not. She’s pregnant; I’m not. That blog has a couple hundred readers; mine doesn’t. It’s not pretty. It’s ugly and uncomfortable and painful and despite my efforts, I haven’t been able to just STOP the comparisons. The constant comparisons, which lead to […]

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It’s making me a little sick, being on Facebook this morning reading all the optimistic thoughts and hopes my friends have for 2011. I am finding it nearly impossible to be optimistic today, for this new year. I don’t have any shiny resolutions, no sparkly dreams for 2011. I’m not going to sugarcoat it: Last night […]

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I hurt you. Repeatedly, over and over again, I hurt you. I have hurt you, I continue to hurt you. And still, there you are. Trying to be there for me, really be there for me… and I won’t let you. Not really. And I don’t get it! Don’t get me wrong, I love it. […]

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I haven’t felt this alone for a long time. Not since those insecure, uncertain years of early high school. But this, this is worse. This is uncertainty beyond anything I’ve experienced before. I am completely lost. I don’t know myself anymore. Who am I? Who am I. So much of my life was WE. WE […]

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