2013

I don’t like making resolutions. Never have, probably never will. I just feel like a year is too long a period of time to decide how I’m going to behave for the entirety, yanno? If you’re into resolutions, awesome, good for you, more power to ya.

I do, however, like making lists. To do lists, shopping lists, shit-I-need-to-have-in-my-life lists. That’s why I’m not entirely sure why it never occurred to me to make a List of Shit To Do In {insert year here}, at the beginning of said year. BUT. That’s what Terra did with her Do It list and I like it (and her) so I’m copying her idea.

Here we go!

Awesome (or necessary) things I’m going to mother-effing do in 2013:

  1. ATTEND THE 5TH AND FINAL #BiSC IN MAY
    I’ve already said I’m going multiple times, but registration opens Monday and I’m posting it here so now it’s The Truth, right? Besides, I need more of this in my life:

    BiSC2011-wave
    This isn’t my photo, and for the life of me I can’t remember who actually took it (sorry!) but I know it wasn’t me.

    And also, fuck, this is the last BiSC ever.
    – – – – –

  2. (FINALLY) GET A TATTOO.
    Since before I even turned 18, I’ve wanted a tattoo. My big brother even made me an appointment as my 18th birthday gift, and I CHICKENED OUT. It’s more like I’m too indecisive and couldn’t decide what I wanted or where I wanted it. But this is the year. I’m open to suggestions.
    – – – – –
  3. BE HONEST AND TRUE WITH & TO OTHERS AND, ABOVE ALL, WITH & TO MYSELF.
    I’ve spend so much time over the past… years?… worrying about making other people happy that I completely lost my own happiness. Shit has kind of hit the fan recently, and I know it’s at least partially due to the fact that I stopped putting myself first. Um, if I don’t treat myself well, how exactly can I expect others to? Right.
    – – – – –
  4. DROP THE GUILT.
    Regarding E specifically. I tend to not do things for myself because I feel like it will make me a bad mom, or I’ll feel guilty for not spending every second with him. This kind of relates to #3, but is different enough to warrant it’s own spot on the list.
    – – – – –
  5. GET HEALTHY.
    I’ve been battling headaches and stomach problems for a couple months now. And now I’m having some back/shoulder issues. I know it’s because I’ve been neglecting my body (and soul), and I need to just cut that shit out. Time to grow up, Kaci!
    – – – – –
  6. RE-FOCUS
    Specifically, I’m talking about my relationships. I need to focus my time and energy on people who are important to me and to whom I’m important. But this also applies in a more general sense, too.

Want vs. Need – This? I NEED.

Guys.

Remember last year when I went to Bloggers in Sin City in Vegas while I was pregnant and had the time of my life meeting a bunch of strangers, and then those strangers threw me an amazing impromptu bachelorette party (IN VEGAS!) and I died from the amazing?

THIS. REMEMBER THIS?

Well, I missed BiSC 2012. And it was sad, so very sad, and when I realized I was missing out I thought I was going to be sad, so very sad, forever and ever amen.

DON’T WORRY THOUGH. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD.

The Lucky Bloke is totally badass and is sponsoring a giveaway on the BiSC blog, giving away a spot at Bloggers in Sin City 2013. And I havehavehavehavehave to win it. Because I havehavehavehavehaveHAVE to go next year.

Wait, what? You haven’t heard of the Lucky Bloke? Dudes. Check ’em out!They have some really cool (sexy, saucy) stuff – like, um, a condom subscription (you know, those things that can help you prevent having one of these things). You can do a one-time order or get a monthly subscription. The $2.50 shipping is unheard of and and AND 10% of all purchases go toward humanitarian causes. Told you they were badass.

Bloggers in Sin City

I am the actual luckiest girl ever in the history of girls.

For those of you who don’t know, i just returned from a whirlwind 4-day, 3-night trip to Vegas to meet more than 50 strangers at an event called Bloggers in Sin City. Overall, I basically feel speechless and completely overwhelmed, but I will try to do the trip justice here, because that’s what bloggers do.

I could write about all the amazing things the Flamingo did for us (because they did – VIP pool access, Sin City Brewing Co. awesomeness and hello Paradise Garden Buffet!), or how incredible the Chocolate Lounge at the Sugar Factory was (because it was). Or I could thank all the #BiSC sponsors for being so wonderfully generous (because they were). And I could definitely mention the absolute fabulous Club PURE and the seriously ridiculous Absinthe show at Caesar’s Palace.

But there’s just so much more.

I cried on my plane ride home. I cried out of fear for my unborn child, because pregnancy hormones make me fucking crazy. I cried out of sadness, because I missed everyone already and goodbyes are the absolute worst.

Mostly, though, I cried out of pure joy and sheer gratitude.

When I arrived in Vegas Thursday, I didn’t know anybody – online, sure, but not really. It took one casual mention to Nicole that I may not get an actual bachelorette party at home, and these people – these beautiful, amazing, wonderful people whom I barely knew and who barely knew me – came together and threw an impromptu bachelorette party for me.

Shocked. Crying. So grateful, so lucky.
Yes, that's a tiara (which says "bride to be") with a veil, I am definitely wearing a flashing sash that says "Miss Bachelorette," and OBVIOUSLY that's a penis straw. Yes that's a bag of penis straws I'm holding. Penis garter not pictured. Oh, the penii.

ME. Little ol’ me. These kinds of things? Don’t happen to ME.

Just thinking about it, that feeling I got when Nicole called me up in front of all those wonderful people makes me cry like a fucking baby. When she started talking about celebrating the positive things in life, even then – EVEN THEN – I had no idea that these people had gone above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

THESE PEOPLE. These people I look up to and admire, both personally and blog…ly. these people who feel like goddamn CELEBRITIES to me. (I exaggerate, but only a little.) They did this. For me.

Raging heart boner.

I swear to baby jesus that if I were to wake up right now to discover it was all a dream, I wouldn’t be all that surprised. But it is real, apparently, and I just can’t express how thankful and full of totally raging love I am for every single person that had anything at all to do with The Weekend That Changed My Life.

Of course, there was more to the weekend than this surprise bachelorette party. There was great food and amazing conversation and LOTS AND LOTS of time spent pool-side. There were smiles and laughs, tears of joy and tears of sadness. There were inside jokes and memories made. We shared details of our lives with our newfound friends and were reunited with long-time friends. We built up these relationships in person that were born online.

At Caesar's Palace, waiting for the incredible Absinthe show to start.

I got to meet my first-ever blog friend, Lauren, who is even more amazing than I imagined. Actually, I probably shouldn’t say that about Lauren, because EVERYBODY was more amazing than I imagined. But finally meeting Lauren didn’t even really feel like I “finally got to meet her.” It was so much more like finally crossing paths with a long-lost friend. I don’t know how many times we hugged while trying to say goodbye, nor do I know how many tears I cried. Leaving her was one of the most difficult parts of the weekend for me.

Molly put my tiara on for me... pretty sure I was crying, so I'm glad you can't actually see my face in this one.

I also got to meet some of my biggest blog idols. I already mentioned Nicole, who organized the entire meet-up (can you say rock star holyshit she’s so amazing for doing all of this thank you beautiful, wonderful woman!) and basically melted my heart with the bachelorette insanity. Nicole is someone I just really never thought I’d get to meet. Then there was Brandy – I got to spend a night dancing with this fabulous Canadian, and we capped Saturday night talking about how amazing blogging is, how people are generally assholes (but also not, because HELLO #BiSc-uits) and walking from Caesar’s Palace to the Flamingo barefoot. I met Doni, Chelsea, Molly and Grace – all people who have seriously and positively impacted my life, and they probably didn’t even know it. I got to have an amazing, nevermind how short it was, sit-down, spill-my-story oh-my-god-thank-you-so-much-for-saving-me confessional with Molly about how deeply she – and the Joy Equation – helped me. I am still in awe at how hard I fell in love with Casi, Katherine, Terra, Ashley and Nicole. I don’t even know WHAT to say about Tiffany and Caryn (love you guys!). And then there are all the people I didn’t even know existed who surprised me with their awesomeness. I can’t even begin to list them all.

There was just such an abundance, an outpouring of love the entire weekend. My heart literally aches as I sit here, writing this, Gchatting with Lauren about how we miss everybody, how we just want to be near the amazing, beautiful people from the weekend. I’m not a religious person at all, but there is no other word to describe how I feel other than “blessed.” It’s still so surreal, so UNreal to me, that I got to meet all the beauty I did this weekend. Because that’s what these people are to me: They are beauty. Pure, unadulterated beauty. Love.

Until next time, #BiSC-uits! ♥

Pictures by Becca, Tara and Terra (and if I stole yours and posted it here without realizing it pleasepleaseplease call me out on it and I’ll fix it immediately!)

#BiSC – coming soon

So I have this whole post in the works recapping events and feelings and all the things from my #BiSC weekend.

But until then please enjoy this photo from Becca. (Unless of course you were in Vegas this weekend, in which case you’ve already seen this photo.)