On love

I don’t believe in soul mates.

I don’t believe there is one person out there for each of us.

I believe love – as in a romantic, working, day-to-day relationship with another person – is a choice. It’s a daily decision to work at the relationship, to stay and be. in. the relationship. To be an active participant in the relationship.

(That’s not to say you get to choose who you love. That, obviously, is not the case.)

But, to me, this belief is more than a disbelief in fate and destiny. Yes, it’s true I don’t believe the future is written in stone – I think our futures are always changing and evolving based upon our day-to-day actions. (We won’t even go into the religious aspect of all that.) But my stance on love and what makes love work is based on more than my stance on destiny.

Love is hard. Relationships are hard.

They require work. Every day. A lot of it.

Sometimes, I don’t think I’m strong enough. Sometimes I don’t think I have the will to power through it, to deal with all the downs that inevitably come with all the ups. Because, though there are ups… though there are speechless, amazing, heart-exploding ups… there are downs. And though those downs are rare, few and far between, the truth is they are. The downs exist. And when they happen, they are gut-wrenching. They make me question my soul, my heart. And sometimes, no, I don’t think I’m strong enough.

But the truth is that I am strong enough. The truth is I’ve been strong enough and I will continue to be strong enough.

I’m strong enough because I choose to be. I choose to be in this relationship and so I am. Every day, I am in this relationship 100 percent. I give it my all – my heart, my mind, my everything.

Because it’s worth it.

There’s meaning in there somewhere, I guarantee it.

{photo credit}

14 Comments

  1. J Wednesday, April 28, 2010 6:24 pm

    Great post K. Very well said and I could not agree more.

  2. J Wednesday, April 28, 2010 11:24 am

    Great post K. Very well said and I could not agree more.

  3. sleepyjane Thursday, April 29, 2010 6:33 pm

    I TOTALLY agree with you. I also don’t believe in soul mates but I do believe in finding someone you love and then working at it. Relationships are hard, and if you don’t work at them they start to fall apart.

    It’s worth the work though. πŸ™‚

    Great post!

    • Kaci Johanna Friday, April 30, 2010 3:34 am

      So true – relationships are like a living being you have to take care of and nurture. With neglect, it will suffer and you’ll see it.

  4. sleepyjane Thursday, April 29, 2010 11:33 am

    I TOTALLY agree with you. I also don’t believe in soul mates but I do believe in finding someone you love and then working at it. Relationships are hard, and if you don’t work at them they start to fall apart.

    It’s worth the work though. πŸ™‚

    Great post!

    • Kaci Johanna Thursday, April 29, 2010 8:34 pm

      So true – relationships are like a living being you have to take care of and nurture. With neglect, it will suffer and you’ll see it.

  5. Lauren Thursday, April 29, 2010 8:21 pm

    Love this post, Kaci. Truly inspiring and leaves me filled with love and hope!

    xo

    L

    • Kaci Johanna Friday, April 30, 2010 3:33 am

      Thanks, Lauren. I appreciate it! It’s funny, because when I started this post, I didn’t think it would be inspiring… but by the time I got to the end I realized all the bad is, really, for good. Ya know?

  6. Lauren Thursday, April 29, 2010 1:21 pm

    Love this post, Kaci. Truly inspiring and leaves me filled with love and hope!

    xo

    L

    • Kaci Johanna Thursday, April 29, 2010 8:33 pm

      Thanks, Lauren. I appreciate it! It’s funny, because when I started this post, I didn’t think it would be inspiring… but by the time I got to the end I realized all the bad is, really, for good. Ya know?

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  9. nel Tuesday, May 4, 2010 7:38 am

    Great post and great blog πŸ™‚ first time visiting, but I’ll definitely be back!

  10. nel Tuesday, May 4, 2010 12:38 am

    Great post and great blog πŸ™‚ first time visiting, but I’ll definitely be back!

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